Showing category "Grief Recovey" (Show all posts)
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Friday, January 27, 2012,
In :
Anxiety
If you suffer from chronic anxiety you already know it's a negative and undermining experience. What you may not know is how anxiety gets control of your life. Anxiety uses fear to hook you. Fear that you can't trust yourselves to cope with a world that does not feel safe. That fear is usually irrational to some extent because it tries to convince you that either you don't have what it takes to deal with the world and/or, 2/ the world is a dangerous place, where threat is lurking around e... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Thursday, January 26, 2012,
In :
Grief Recovery
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Tuesday, January 24, 2012,
In :
Grief Recovery
Have you been Widowed for 6 months or longer? Are you looking for support as you work through your grief and transition through your healing journey? Please join facilitator Carolyn Main for this unique group experience in February 2012.
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Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Thursday, January 19, 2012,
In :
Grief Recovery
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Thursday, January 12, 2012,
In :
Grief Recovery
Are you a young widow who's thinking about dating & want to be sure you're ready?
Read on to discover 4 key steps to feeling confident about dating after Loss
The first critical step towards feeling confident about dating after loss is to understand WHY you want to date. In other words to get clear about your motivation and your values. This is important because it helps you to know what is driving you, what you need, and what is good for you at this particular point in your grief journey ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Wednesday, December 21, 2011,
In :
Grief
Grief can intensify during the holiday season, as memories of loved ones who’ve died, or from whom we’ve parted, or other traumatic personal losses, remind us of a past that was and will never be again. The first Christmas after the death of a loved one, a divorce, or a job loss can feel especially challenging. And the emphasis placed on looking ahead to the New Year can feel out of sync with the more ‘backward-gazing’ and reflective focus of grief. Social norms, expectations and t...
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Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, November 28, 2011,
In :
Grief
One of the most common concerns I hear from grieving folks is that too many people just don't seem to know what to say to them, and end up either making inappropriate remarks or avoiding them altogether. This can result in the griever feeling isolated and unsupported. Fortunately talking to grieving people does not have to be complicated or confusing. A few simple rules can guide you to having helpful and lasting connections with bereaved and grieving people.Guideline # 1 - Understand That... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Tuesday, September 27, 2011,
In :
Loss
 Dedicated to Cleveland Amory Sherwood 1998 – September 20, 2011.
The best cat ever!
I started to write this post a couple of weeks ago. Since that time I have had to carry out the excruciating decision to euthanize my sweet tabby cat Cleveland due to the ravages of cancer. Cleveland died only 2 ½ months after his diagnosis. It spread through him like a bush fire. I was his nurse throughout this ordeal. Being his care giver was both an honor and a heartbreaking experience. The articl...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Tuesday, September 20, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, August 29, 2011,
In :
Loss
These days I find myself being contacted regularly by people wanting counselling and coaching to deal with the pain of workplace bullying. By pain I mean the psychological, emotional and spiritual hurt that comes from being abused and scapegoated on the job. This is a trend that reflects a 'crisis of civility' in the work world, but also, more encouragingly, the growing reluctance of people to allow themselves to subjecte... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, August 8, 2011,
In :
Loss
Over
the past couple of weeks I took some vacation time. This was planned.
What wasn't planned was that I would be spending it nursing Cleveland,
my dear cat and recently diagnosed cancer patient. Cleveland is being
treated holistically, meaning the emphasis is on diet, supplements and
TLC, rather than toxic chemotherapy or the fires of radiation. Not that
these treatments haven't been a life saver for many. But the fact is,
the more I study up on cancer treatment, the more I am l... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, July 18, 2011,
In :
Loss
In my previous post I wrote about my cat Cleveland who was recently diagnosed with cancer. As his principle care giver I have many difficult and unclear decisions to make about the kind of treatment to opt for and how to care for him on a day to day basis. I am also living with not knowing if the choices I am making will help or hinder him. Hardest of all is not knowing how long he may live - weeks, months or years. Uncertainty is the constant theme in the job of the care giver. This is ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, July 4, 2011,
In :
Loss
Today I took my beloved tabby cat Cleveland for yet another surgical intervention to deal with his severe chronic respiratory disease. He's a brave, loving and determined little fellow who has just barely bypassed the grim reaper on several occasions. This time his vet is looking for everything from a fungus infection to cancer. Cleveland's life started out rough in a wealthy but unloving home where he was unwanted, to abandonment at a 'No Kill' shelter where we found each other. He is no... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Friday, June 17, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
What Does Grief Recovery Mean Exactly?
There’s a saying in grief recovery that: 'It’s not that the boulder gets smaller, but that our shoulders get stronger'. To me what this points to is that grief can’t be ‘cured’. For in order to grief to be cured the loss would have to be erased, which is not possible. Grief is a response to the psychological ‘injury’ of loss. The pain of the injury can be healed, but leaves a scar. But if we grieve in a healthy fashion, our loss can... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Wednesday, June 8, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Time plus ‘Right’ Action Helps to Heal the Pain of Grief
Distraction Does Not Equal Healing
The myth that those in grief should just stay busy is a lot like myth #1 - Time Heals All Wounds. And like that myth, staying busy in itself does not promote healing, just as time does nothing but pass unless you do something constructive with it. But grieving people often hear from other well intended people that if they stay active then grief won’t get a negative hold over their lives. Thi... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, May 30, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Putting Others Ahead Of Yourself While Grieving Is Simply the Wrong Order
The idea that you should be strong for others is another grief myth that tends to start in childhood, when we are taught that it is somehow more appropriate to put other’s needs ahead of our own. This myth is a double bind as it implies that we deny our own emotions while at the same time be sensitive to the feelings of others. This strikes me as an impossible and irrational feat. And rather than being noble or... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Tuesday, May 24, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Grieving Alone – A Recipe For Loneliness & Isolation
Do grievers withdraw by nature or due to shame and stigma for feeling upset? The idea that you should grieve alone almost always comes from social taboos against expressing painful emotions in public. Unless those in grief choose to grieve alone, this myth keeps others comfortable, while doing nothing for the griever except adding loneliness to the already painful experience of loss. Much like Myth #2 – Don’t Feel Bad, the belief... Continue reading ...
Remembering Gary
Last Friday I learned that my old friend Gary had died a few years ago. Prematurely gone. What's shocking is that he died so young. But what's more shocking is that I knew he was gone for many years. Not 'knew' in the facts sense, but intuitively, as I had sensed many years ago that his time had run out. It's a terrible feeling to know that about someone who is still walking around. Someone that you love. Alcohol ultimately killed Gary, or should I say he let it kill ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Saturday, May 7, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
You Can Always Get Another Husband, Baby, Pet, Job...
This is perhaps one of the cruelest myths – that somehow you can ‘replace’ the beloved person or thing whose loss is breaking your heart. It’s a myth that tends to be entirely socially perpetrated, rather than originating from grievers themselves who know in their hearts that a deeply meaningful bond cannot be filled in by a substitute. This myth is related to myth #2 – ‘Don’t feel bad’. It tends to start in childhood... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Tuesday, May 3, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
You Can’t Step Into The Same River Twice - Heraclitus
Grieving people often look at me with worried expressions and ask, “When will I be my old self again”. This is particularly the case if their grief has been going on for more than a couple of months. Grievers sometimes believe that according to some unspoken, unquestioned or unconscious social guidelines, they should be quickly stepping back into the same place in their lives they were before their loss. Sometimes this expect... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, April 25, 2011,
In :
Bereavement
By Ellen Gould-Ventura
I feel great pleasure and gratitude to be able to present this guest Blog post by musician Ellen Gould-Ventura. Ellen was unable to be with her mother, Hetty Ventura, at the time of her death in 2002. But Ellen brought her mother’s ashes home, and created a unique and beautiful ritual involving her young children to help process her grief and honor her mother’s roots in southern Spain. She has written a sensitive and moving chronicle of her grief recovery journe...
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Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Thursday, April 21, 2011,
In :
Bereavement
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Thursday, April 14, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Don't feel bad = Don't feel what you are feeling:
A Cautionary Tale
This article is the second in a series of posts that look at popular myths of grief recovery. Myth #1 looked at the erroneous but widespread notion that 'time heals all wounds'. Today's post examines the myth that you shouldn't or don't have to feel bad after a major loss. To a large extent the myths of grief recovery reflect a lack of knowledge about the process of grief and the needs of grieving people. But like many myth... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, April 11, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Time doesn't heal all wounds - it just passes. It's what you do with time that makes the difference in healing from grief!
I often hear from people in the early stages of grief - i.e. less than a year - who express fear that their grief is not resolving. They are concerned that weeks and months have gone by and they are still in pain, or possibly feeling worse, and are not over it like they 'should' be. On top of the pain of grief, many folks feel afraid that their grief is unhealthy, or ...
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Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Tuesday, April 5, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Death and other forms of loss at best challenge and at worst violate our world view. To some extent we all get up each day assuming that the world is a relatively safe and predictable place - that our loved ones, our health and our work will continue to be there for us. Loss - especially sudden or catastrophic loss - confronts these beliefs, and we can feel profoundly upset and anxious having our 'assumptive world' disturbed. Human beings have a tendency to disbelieve or dismiss those eve... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, March 21, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
What is legitimate grief? Who decides what losses we may rightly mourn, for what length of time and how? It is my belief that grief is in the eye of the beholder, meaning that as human beings we grieve in direct proportion to what the loss means to us. For one person, the loss of a job may be more painful than the loss of a spouse, or vice versa. For another person, they may mourn the death of a beloved pet for years, but not feel as troubled by a long term health problem. Society has un... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, March 14, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
This article started as a much shorter post on my Blog “Recovery Matters” in February 2010. Chronic grief is a serious road block to mental health and happiness. Read on to learn how counselling can help you regain your psychological well being if you are stuck in “the pain that won’t go away”.
There's much debate in the research community about the usefulness of grief counselling. The debate revolves around whether grief counselling is necessary for recovery, or if it even does... Continue reading ...
Today’s post is an Interview I conducted recently with Vancouver BC addiction physician Jenny Melamed. Jenny is a great example of a progressive physician who works collaboratively with counsellors like myself to help people recover from dependency on drugs and alcohol. Incorporated within the addiction medicine specialty are the processes of detoxification, rehabilitation, harm reduction, abstinence-based treatment, medical management at recovery houses, treatment of withdrawal-related sy...
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Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Sunday, February 20, 2011,
In :
Bereavement
It's been almost seven years since a friend of mine called from India to tell me my friend Ab had died in his sleep on February 20, 2004. Seven years - blink. Time accelerates as you get older! It's strange how I knew the content of this message even before it was delivered, and braced myself to hear it. Is it tone of voice, the words "I have something I need to let you know", or perhaps an intuitive connection to the deceased that tips the utterer's hand? Or a combination of all of thos... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Thursday, February 17, 2011,
In :
Bereavement
The Lower Mainland Grief Recovery Society has two 6 week support groups for the bereaved starting in March and May. LMGRS offers excellent group support facilitated by skilled group leaders. Details above or visit their website www.lmgr.ca
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Sunday, February 13, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Valentines can be a bitter sweet day as we remember loved ones who have died and special times in our lives that will never be again. My Valentine's post is by guest author Alicia King. Alicia has written a loving and tender tribute to her relationship with her father, reminding those who are grieving that love has a timeless quality that lives on in our hearts.
Daddy's Girl
I admit it. I was always a daddy's girl. Don't get me wrong. I was very close to my mom, too. I was lucky. ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Thursday, February 10, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Folks in the Vancouver area are invited to attend a Book Launch by local author Cathy Sosnowsky.
Cathy will be reading from her new book Snapshots, which documents her journey as
a bereaved parent coming to terms with multiple family losses.
Cathy Sosnowsky grew up and studied in Vancouver, B.C., and went on to teach at the University of British Columbia and at Langara College. Her specialty was English literature, but she was also instrumental in establishing courses in Film Studies ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Tuesday, February 1, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
There's much debate in the academic research community regarding the usefulness of grief counselling. The debate seems to revolve around whether grief counselling is necessary for recovery, or if it even does any good. There seems to be some agreement that for 'normal' grief, counselling isn't required for healing to take place. Healing tends to happen on its own, over time. However, most researchers agree that normal grievers can receive valuable support, understanding and normalization ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, January 17, 2011,
Sometimes a poster is worth a thousand words... Sent to me by a very thoughtful 14 year old... Really jolted me into the proper perspective... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Friday, January 14, 2011,
In :
Grief Recovery
Today's post is provided by Vancouver BC financial advisor/planner and former counsellor Tracy Theemes. Tracy applies her understanding of the process of grief to the work she does assisting women emerging from divorce and other losses to attain financial empowerment.
One afternoon last week two women came in for appointments.* Both used a fair amount of Kleenex wiping their tears. This is not unusual in itself. I do not exaggerate when I say that I go through a box of Kleenex a month in my o... Continue reading ...
A while ago I received this email from a woman experiencing the opposite of the positive emotions she had hoped to find in recovery.
“I’m in recovery from alcoholism and should feel happy, but I feel sad and angry and empty - almost like I’m grieving. But not only has nobody has died, in fact I got my life back. I’m worried that if I keep this up I’m going to start drinking again. How do I make sense of my emotions and hold onto my recovery?”
As you can see from the despera... Continue reading ...
Posted by Glynis Sherwood on Monday, August 23, 2010,
In :
Grief Recovery
As a grief recovery counsellor, one of the most common questions I get asked is, “Are my emotions normal?”. And sometimes people worry, “Am I going crazy?”. Read on to learn more about common emotional responses to grief and loss, and what you can do to recover from this painful experience.
People often worry about their emotional responses to grief, and ask me if what they are feeling is normal, healthy or sane. The answer is almost always yes. Emotional responses to loss can... Continue reading ...
I'm very pleased to announce that I have expanded my counselling and coaching practice to embrace the theme of recovery in general. To me recovery means healing from psychological distress and injury, and although it certainly includes addiction, is not limited to it. Over the years my work with folks in recovery from addiction has shown me that emotional healing is 9/10ths of the journey. Commonly, recovery focuses on overcoming stress, anxiety, depression, low self worth, grief and los... Continue reading ...
One of the most common requests I get for counselling is to help people with their relationships in recovery from addiction. This can mean anything from repairing current relationships to developing healthier connections in the present and future. Sometimes the threat of losing a partner can be the catalyst for getting into recovery. Whatever the starting place, ultimately it is the addict’s desire for a better life, including healthier relationships as a center piece that will sustain t... Continue reading ...
I feel very fortunate to be able to present today's guest blog post by American writer John T. Marohn. Not only is John a superb writer, but he has been in recovery for over two decades, making him a first-hand chronicler of the recovery journey. After reading John's post, please visit his website and blog for more insights, essays and to order his wonderful books on recovery. Thanks John!
Before I started to write an essay on surrender, I went to my twitter page and tried to send another o... Continue reading ...
As the Addiction Recovery Month of September winds down and autumn gears up, it's a good idea to take stalk of how you have used this time in service of your recovery. It being harvest time, the theme is 'reap what you sow'. How are you feeling about your recovery? Do you feel a sense of progress or do you feel you have let yourself down? Have you stayed true to your vision for your life, or let addiction continue to call the shots? Are your health and relationships stronger because of ... Continue reading ...
Today's final Step #11 concludes this series of basic
but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. The entire article can be downloaded for free from the Articles page of my website. I invite you to use these
steps and strategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.
Step 11 - Get Ongoing Support. Addiction causes isolation. Most people in recovery believe that finding community is critical to healing. Whether in a group, through counselling or with recovery buddies, you can... Continue reading ...
We are moving towards the finish line with Step 10 of 11 basic
but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. The final recovery Step - # 11 will be posted September 18th. Use these
steps and strategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.
Step 10 - Rebuild your relationships. Addiction hurts the ones you love. In your important relationships there is likely - at best – strain, loss of trust and poor communication, and – at worse – breakups, separation or divorce. Apologi... Continue reading ...
Today's post is Step 9 of 11 basic
but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. Look for a
Recovery Step and Strategy every day through September 18th. Use these
steps and strategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.
Step 9 - Get counselling for psychological distress. Many people engage in addictive behaviours to ‘self-medicate’, i.e. escape painful emotions, moods, memories, grief, loss, relationships or symptoms of trauma. You may find yourself feeling anxious, sad,... Continue reading ...
Continue your Recovery journey with Step 8 of 11 basic but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. Look for a Recovery Step and Strategy every day through September 18th. Use these steps and stategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.Step 8 - Understand Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). If you were a former substance abuser, you are now healing from the toxic effects of mood altering drugs on your body and brain. You may experience uncomfortable symptoms as you begi... Continue reading ...
Your Recovery journey continues with Step 7 of 11 basic but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. Look for a Recovery Step and Strategy every day through September 18th. Use these steps and strategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.Step 7 - Take care of your health. Addictive behaviours, especially substance abuse, deplete your body of vital energy, as well as compromise your physical and psychological well being. You may be suffering from malnutrition and exhaustion... Continue reading ...
The Recovery journey continues with Step 6 of 11 basic but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. Look for a Recovery Step and Strategy every day through September 18th. Use these steps and strategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.Step 6 - Stop secondary addictive behaviours such as smoking, binge-eating, gambling, other drugs, internet obsession, etc. Research shows that people who stop the addictive process completely – rather than dealing with one substance or be... Continue reading ...
This post is a day late due to a computer crash. Will catch up! Continuing my series of daily posts, today's Step is # 5 of 11 basic but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. Look for a Recovery Step and Strategy every day through September 17th. Use these steps and strategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.Step 5 - Be on the alert for denial, minimizing, overconfidence and other forms of addictive thinking. Once you have some recovery time and start to feel better,... Continue reading ...
Continuing on with my series of daily posts, today I am posting Step 4 of 11 basic but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. Look for a Recovery Step and Strategy every day through September 17th. Use these steps and strategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.
Step 4 - Create
a Relapse Prevention Plan. Identify your triggers and high risk
situations. Triggers can be any
emotions, thoughts, beliefs, actions, relationships or situations that
make you ... Continue reading ...
Yesterday I posted Step 2 of 11 basic but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery. Today I am posting Step 3. Look for a Recovery Step and Strategy per day through September 17th. Use these steps and strategies to help guide you to a solid recovery.
Step 3 - Connect with formal recovery supports. If you need medical detox, make arrangements with an addiction doctor or nurse. This is particularly critical for withdrawal from alcohol and benzodiazepines (tranquilizers), which i... Continue reading ...
Following on the heels of yesterday's post is Step 2 of 11 basic but ... Continue reading ...
Successful recovery from addiction – whether substance abuse or compulsive behaviour – is built on a strong foundation of personal goals, dreams and commitment – not luck or willpower. It takes self awareness, good decision making skills, plans, discipline and determination. Over the next 11 days I will be posting 11 basic but powerful strategies for achieving addiction recovery, starting with Step 1 today. Use these steps and strategies to help guide you to solid recovery.
Step 1. ... Continue reading ...
Recovery is an empowering journey that moves people from the margins and back into life with renewed purpose and confidence. Tim Powers, Coulee Council on Addictions, Wisconsin, USA
September is National Recovery Month in the US. Here in Canada we can benefit from the spirit of that example. As the soothing and carefree balm of summer weekends and vacations - aka 'sunshine therapy' - slip away, and people step back into the faster pace of the 'unofficial' start of the new year, what can be... Continue reading ...
As my first post I thought I'd begin by looking at the concept of 'Recovery'. After all, recovery is at the heart of my work and my business name. It means so many things to different people, with some people questioning the use of the term at all. For me, as a counsellor, recovery means only positive things: the act (or art) of healing; reclaiming ones true self; the cessation of pain and harm; the ability to deal constructively with psychological challenges; strong relationships that en... Continue reading ...
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Posts May Be Reproduced With No Changes and Full Attribution To Author
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Glynis Sherwood - MEd, CCC Counsellor - Consultant - Author
Helping People Recover from Loss, Grief, Anxiety or Addictive Behaviors
778-837-0616 Serving Vancouver Canada, North America & WorldWide through In-Person, Phone & Online Counselling
Glynis Sherwood - MEd Counselling
Canadian Certified Counsellor
Certified Addictions Counsellor
| Recovery Counsellor, Coach & Author |
| Vancouver, Canada |
With a twenty year history of counselling and consulting experience, I help people recover from Grief and Loss, Trauma, Addictions, Stress, Anxiety, Depression, and Workplace Bullying. My company - Recovery Counselling Solutions - offers specialized services designed to help people overcome these life challenges. Recovery Counselling focuses on helping people heal from emotional distress and injury, and helps restore and strengthen the psychological well being of individuals and their loved ones. I provide counselling and consulting at my office in central Vancouver, and WorldWide by telephone and internet. My belief is that no matter how harmful grief, psychological challenges or addictions have been in your life, you can recover and live a life of happiness, fufillment and purpose!
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